Key events
25th over: England 98-2 (Bethell 37, Root 5) Boland off, Starc on – and Root almost gone when he snicks at catchable height between second slip and gully. Close, close, close.
24th over: England 93-2 (Bethell 37, Root 1) Batting at No3 in Australia is not a job for a young man. The last player aged 22 or under to do so for Australia was Ricky Ponting in 1996 – and he was dropped after two Tests in that position. Excluding nightwatchmen, the only players to do it in the last 30 years are Ponting, Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Jacques Kallis, Kane Williamson, Joe Root, KL Rahul, Babar Azam and now Jacob Bethell.
Of all those future greats, only Kallis made a century or averaged over 30.
23rd over: England 92-2 (Bethell 36, Root 1) Boland continues to pummel the imaginary shoebox on a good length, with a bit of seam movement back into Root. The cordon enquire politely for LBW when one such delivery hits the pad but Root was well outside the line and playing a stroke.
Boland is giving England nothing: his figures are 7-2-8-0.
22nd over: England 91-2 (Bethell 35, Root 1) Neser overpitches and is driven sumptously through mid-on for four by Bethell. Average players don’t play shots like that. I know I’m a lovesick teenager when Bethell bats but my goodness, he has it all.
Neser, who has seen it all before, responds by beating Bethell and then drawing a thick edge that bounces just short of gully.
21st over: England 86-2 (Bethell 30, Root 1) A beautiful delivery from Boland – fullish, in the corridor, straightening off the seam – beats Root’s defensive push. He is such a masterful performer. In fact, it’s an oddity that, of Australia’s three main bowlers in this match, Mitchell Starc is the only one with a bowling average in the twenties.
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Starc 26.54
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Boland 18.56
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Neser 17.31
20th over: England 86-2 (Bethell 30, Root 1) Michael Neser is having the time of his life. The wicket of Duckett was his 15th of the series at an average of less than 18 apiece. With stand-ins like that, who needs first-choice bowlers.
Neser almost gets his 16th wicket when Bethell chases a very wide delivery and is beaten. England trail by 97 runs.
WICKET! England 85-2 (Duckett b Neser 42)
Ben Duckett ends the series without a half-century. He tried to cut Neser, was cramped for room and dragged the ball onto the stumps. Duckett whacks his back into his pad in frustration as he walks off.
19th over: England 85-1 (Duckett 42, Bethell 30) Scott Boland returns at the start of the afternoon session. Bethell, who looks least comfortable against Boland, is drawn towards a wider delivery that bounces past the outside edge.
“The more I reflect on it, the less upset I am about that Jamie Smith shot,” writes Eddy Nason. “Yes it was a village way to get out, but it was a long hop from Marnus that deserved some treatment. At least he was trying to put away the bad ball – just some out of nick execution on the shot.
“I think he’ll probably be replaced by James Rew for the start of the summer, but it shouldn’t be for that moment.”
I’ll be very surprised if they drop Smith; he’s had a rough trot but it’s only a few months ago that comparisons to Adam Gilchrist were irresistible. I suppose all bets are off after an Ashes shellacking. It may depend on whether there’s a change of coach.
18th over: England 83-1 (Duckett 41, Bethell 29) Neser starts the session with a no-ball before beating both Bethell and Duckett with excellent deliveries in the corridor or uncertainty.
Afternoon session
The players are back and ready to go to work. Michael Neser will continue to Ben Duckett.
Lunchtime reading
Tanya Aldred talks to the great Neil Harvey, the sweetheart of the all-conquering Invincibles.
Lunch: England trail by 103
17th over: England 80-1 (Duckett 40, Bethell 28) The last over before lunch, bowled by Green, passes without incident. England had a good morning session, although they are still miles behind in the game.
Ben Duckett played with intent – and rode his luck – to reach his highest score of the series, while Jacob Bethell showed why some of us are obsessed with him by making a serene 28 not out.
Every time I watch Bethell I think of Alex Ferguson’s quote about a young Paul Scholes; If he doesn’t make it, we might as well all pack up and go home.
Australia were good rather than great with the ball. They bowled some vicious deliveries, and Mitchell Starc’s inswinger to get Zak Crawley was a beauty, but there was some loose stuff as well. The best bowler was probably Scott Boland, who gave Bethell the Line of Duty interrogation room treatment during a fine spell of 4-1-5-0.
Duckett dropped by Green on 38
16th over: England 77-1 (Duckett 39, Bethell 27) Neser returns for a single over before lunch. Duckett gloves a nasty, seaming lifter and is dropped by Green at second slip. Oof, that’s a bad drop, not least because he dived in front of Steve Smith at first slip. The poor guy is having the toughest time of his Test career and now even his bucket hands have let him down.
“Cameron Green is gonna get dropped, just like that catch?” says Andew Bartlett. “Too soon?”
Man, that’s cold.
15th over: England 76-1 (Duckett 38, Bethell 27) Bethell started smiling when he got to his feet, and not in a nervous way. That speaks to a rare temperament. When play resumes, Green rams in a bumper and Bethell snaps his head out of the way like Robin Smith in his magnificent pomp.
14.5 overs: England 76-1 (Duckett 38, Bethell 27) Green’s good balls are very good, but there’s too much loose stuff and Duckett laces an overpitched delivery through extra cover for four. This is now his highest score of the series.
The good ball comes later in the over, a monstrous lifter that hits Bethell on the side of the helmet, knocks him off his feet and flies over the slips for four leg-byes. Bethell will be checked for concussion. That was a brutal delivery, like something from Fire in Babylon.
14th over: England 65-1 (Duckett 32, Bethell 26) Bethell slashes Starc for a couple of boundaries between square on the off side – the first one was slightly streaky but safe enough. I’ll weep with joy if he makes a ce- no, I can’t go there.
13th over: England 57-1 (Duckett 32, Bethell 18) Cam Green replaces Neser and is pulled brusquely for four by Duckett. That brings up England’s fifty and reduces the deficit to 130. The Ashes are only jolly well coming home!
Duckett gets a bit lucky when a length ball hits him on the bottom hand and loops to safety on the off side. Green’s height should make him a bone-jarring proposition on a pitch that is slightly uneven. Not, however, if he rams the ball halfway down. Duckett jumps all over another short ball, pulling it for four to move into the flirty thirties. Those runs also bring up a good fifty partnership with Bethell.
“Hello from Sydney where it is seriously hot and humid this morning,” writes your friend and mine, Emma John. “Getting the tram to the ground was like rush hour on the Northern Line, if everyone at Clapham North had become incomprehensibly obsessed with Matthew Potts.
“Finally came to the end of my multi-state tour of Australian cricket museums this week and the verdict is in – MCG wins hands down, the Bradman Museum in Bowral is a worthy second and honourable mention must go to the Harrow Discovery Centre in the middle of the Victorian outback, which tells the comprehensive story of the 1868 Aboriginal touring XI and keeps Johnny Mullagh’s legacy alive. They even let me try on the Mullagh Medal, presented to the MCG Test’s PoM, and had only just come off Josh Tongue’s neck…”
12th over: England 49-1 (Duckett 24, Bethell 18) Duckett clips Starc crisply through midwicket for four. He’s in the twenties for the sixth time in the series; the problem has been getting past 34. In statistical terms, Duckett’s series has been a strange cousin of Mark Ramprakash’s debut against the West Indies in 1991 – even if Ramps had a strike rate of 28 to Duckett’s 94. Urgh, Ramps batted so beautifully in that series; why the hell did England leave him out in New Zealand the following winter.
“Worth noting also that Ollie Robinson has spent the last two months playing grade cricket at University of Sydney,” says Hugh Boyce, “and thanks to some histrionics in 2023 is perfectly poised to take Stuart Broad’s role of pantomime villain.”
Who could forget those nude nuts.
11th over: England 42-1 (Duckett 19, Bethell 18) Gorgeous stroke from Bethell, who times Neser between extra cover and mid off with just a gentle push of the bat. That’s his second boundary; he’s playing nicely.
10th over: England 36-1 (Duckett 19, Bethell 12) Starc changes ends to replace Boland and almost takes Duckett’s nose off with a ferocious lifter. Madon! Duckett widens his eyes and looks at the pitch; Starc smiles broadly.
Drinks: England trail by 149 runs
9th over: England 34-1 (Duckett 17, Bethell 12) Neser bowls five successive dot balls to Bethell, who is defending with calm authority. Whether he’s attacking or defending, Bethell passes every eye Test going. All he needs to do now is score a first-class century.
“The other NZ bowler is probably Lockie Ferguson,” says Dean Kinsella. “Though I reckon he should really be taking the new ball for Scotland with a name like that.”
L and J are pretty close on the keypad. (My inner pedant, a vile and unfeeling beast, would like to politely point out that Ferguson doesn’t really play Test cricket.)
8th over: England 33-1 (Duckett 16, Bethell 12) Boland’s accuracy and seam movement are so compelling that we sometimes forget how much lift he gets. He looks extremely unpleasant to face when he gets the odd ball to kick from a length. After Duckett is hit high on the bat, Bethell sways out of the way of a bouncer that flies over Carey for four byes.
“Haha shall we rank the worst moments of this series?” says a disconcertingly chipper Max Williams. “Or the dumbest shots? Or the most inane platitude spouted by the English management? (Smith dropping Head in Brisbane, Brook 2nd innings at Perth, ‘If anything we trained too much’.)
“Here’s a question: if England had taken all their catches, would they have won the series? Brainless batting, wayward bowling and all. In terms of net run contribution – runs scored by you vs an Australian after you dropped them – Smith and Duckett might be running in the negative.”
First you ask me to Rank and Rate, now you want me to Look at the Data!
7th over: England 26-1 (Duckett 15, Bethell 10) Michael Neser, part of that Thirtysomething XI, replaces Mitchell Starc. His second ball is too straight and clipped stylishly through midwicket for four by Bethell. I cannot wait to see how he develops in the 18 months between now and the return Ashes series.
“Oh the symbolism of Ben Stokes, worn down by the cares of captaincy, forlornly leaving the field with groin knack, whilst poor Zak Crawley is hoist without even waving his petard,” writes Brian Withington. “Alas and alack, but can Ben Duckett finally counter attack?”
This sorry scene makes me want to shout… what was that Eminem song called again?
6th over: England 18-1 (Duckett 14, Bethell 3) Bethell likes to vary his approach depending on conditions and the match situation. Today he is trying to survive, playing for his off stump, and has reached 3 from 19 balls. Duckett has 14 from 15.
“As well as the details of England’s selections, I think it’s time for a reassessment of the pool they pick from,” says Tom Hopkins. “I just don’t believe there aren’t equivalents of Webster and Neser out there and yet it seems that only bright young things need apply.
“For a number of reasons, I think the England set up needs to reconnect with the county game and I’d put their seeming lack of interest in this on the ‘time to go’ side of the McCullum and Key scales.”
That’s a good point, but I think it predates this management team. Australia have used uncapped thirtysomethings a lot better than England for decades. In fact, here’s an XI of Australian thirtysomething who have made their Test debut in the 21st century. Look at that attack!
Chris Rogers, Jake Weatherald, Brad Hodge, Adam Voges, Mike Hussey, Beau Webster, Alex Carey or Brad Haddin (wk), Michael Neser, Ryan Harris, Stuart Clark, Scott Boland.
England can’t even put out an XI. They have only six players who qualify: Mark Stoneman, Joe Denly, Sam Billings, Martin Saggers, Shaun Udal and Jon Lewis.
Is it too late to call up Darren Stevens?
5th over: England 17-1 (Duckett 14, Bethell 2) Starc swerves a jaffa past Duckett’s outside edge. Unless the player of the series award can be shared, I’d give it to Starc for his influence with ball and bat when the series was still live. He has never bowled better than he did in 2025 and, though he turns 36 in January, fast bowlers last much longer these days. It’ll be a big surprise if he isn’t leading the attack when Australia go to India and England next year.
4th over: England 15-1 (Duckett 13, Bethell 1) Bethell is beaten by some extra bounce from Boland, then tries to style it out by swivelling in his follow-through as if he was leaving the ball all along. Boland is interrogating Bethell’s technique, from from around the wicket and then from back over. A superb over ends with Bethell edging a defensive push just short of slip.
Let’s briefly accentuate the positive for England: even if he is out to the next ball he faces, Jacob Bethell will have learned so much from playing in these two Tests.
“You mentioned earlier that you think a better version of England’s approach can still cause problems for any side,” says Martin O’Donovan-Wright. “I kind of agree, but that’s as long as we’re limiting the discussion to batting, which is usually what people think of in the interminable Bazball debate. But it’s the bowling as much as the batting that’s at issue, and England never seem to be able to field their best bowling lineup due to injuries. Until that happens, it almost makes the rest of the debate redundant. And unfortunately, I don’t think the prime bowling unit that they wanted to field will ever feature as a unit again.”
That’s a very good point. England have lost nearly 2000 Test wickets since the 2023 Ashes, something that was lost in the excitement of having five bowlers who could hit 90mph. It’s not just the bowlers; they need to find a coach as well. I’d ask Anderson and Broad if they fancy sharing the job.
We probably need to forget the idea of a first-choice bowling attack; it’s just not realistic any more. That said, I do think the pace attack will look a lot different if England can lock in a new-ball expert. In unrelated news, Oliver Edward Robinson (born 1 December 1993) is an English professional cricketer. In domestic cricket, he plays for Sussex as a right-arm medium-pace bowler, having previously played for Yorkshire and Hampshire. He made his Test debut for England in 2021, and played 20 matches.
3rd over: England 15-1 (Duckett 13, Bethell 1) Duckett uppercuts Starc deliberately for a one-bounce four, then lasers another boundary through extra cover. He looks in the mood to have a bit of fun.
“Why is Ollie Robinson being picked unlikely?” wonders Peter Kelly. “What have I missed?”
It’s a complicated case: lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous. There was an excellent discussion about it on the Wisden podcast a few weeks ago.
2nd over: England 5-1 (Duckett 4, Bethell 0) Scott Boland opens the bowling for the first time since Perth. He’s been the unsung hero of Australia’s triumph and helped shape the series with outstanding spells on day two at Perth and day three (I think) at Brisbane. He beats Bethell with a ball that keeps low and is, for England, mercifully wide of the stumps.
“I’m not a fan of Cam Green playing at 5. I feel the biggest problem he’s dealing with is the sky-high expectations foisted onto him,” writes Rowan Sweeney. “Yesterday, he looked comfortable at 7/8 (on a very placid deck, admittedly). If we just left him there and accepted him as a world class gully fielder who’s a better-than-average bowler and a better-than-average batter, we’d see the most-better-than-average of him.”
I think you’re right about him at No5, but you can’t have him as a bits-and-pieces player, surely? Maybe you just commit to picking one of Green or Webster and give somebody else a decent run at No5.
1st over: England 4-1 (Duckett 3, Bethell 0) Jacob Bethell arrives for another day at Big School.
Crawley ends a frustrating series with 273 runs at 27.30. Starc, who is having the series of his life, isn’t done yet: he has 29 wickets at 18.96.
“Kia ora Rob, from Rotorua in Aotearoa/New Zealand,” writes Graeme Simpson. “Thanks to you and your OBO colleagues for staying up late. Always a great way to follow the cricket. With special interest as the Black Caps have a three-Test series with England coming up.
“If – and it’s a big if – most of our front line bowling line up are fit, then, they will be real trouble for England. Plus there’s depth in our batting, too. At least you’ll be able to follow that series in the day time. Best wishes for 2026, mate.”
And to you. That series could be loads of fun. I’d love to see a pace attack of Matt Henry, Will O’Rourke and Kyle/Jamieson/Jacob Duffy/Zak Foulkes/somebody else I’ve forgotten. O’Rourke looked sensational against England in 2024.
WICKET! England 4-1 (Crawley LBW b Starc 1)
Mitchell Starc has bookended the series by dismissing Zak Crawley in the first over. Crawley offered no stroke to a ball that swung back to hit the flap of the pad and was given out LBW by Ahsan Raza.
Crawley reviewed in the hope it didn’t swing back enough – but it was umpire’s call and Crawley is on his way. Not a great shot, it’s true, but it was a wonderful piece of bowling.
For the last time in this series, Zak Crawley and Ben Duckett walk out to face the music. Duckett is facing an unwanted bit of history – the last, and only, England opener to play five Tests in an Ashes series in Australia without making a half-century is Cyril Washbrook in 1950-51.
“Where does this series rank among 21st-century Ashes contests?” wonders Max Williams. “Definitely top in terms of English disappointment but as a sporting spectacle? I’d place it third bottom.
“The Covid series was the worst, and the 2017-18 tour utterly unmemorable. Then this shambles. 2001 and 2002-23 were even more one-sided but showcased a truly great Australian team and a couple of heroic English victories. Both whitewashes contained multiple iconic moments – Adaleide, Mitchell Johnson – and a dramatic weight that this series simply lacks.
“Best, you ask? I won’t insult your intelligence but I’d place 2023 second and 2019 third – boasting arguably the greatest Test match ever counts for a lot. Feels like 2009 should be up there – 1-1 going into the deciding Test – but the matches themselves weren’t great.
“And yes, the respective locations of all the close ones and all the thumpings tells you an awful lot about our respective cricketing nations.
Max, I love you but please don’t make me do a Rank and Rate. Not tonight, not after seven weeks of sleep deprivation. (I pretty much agree with everything you say anyway, except that I’d put this series bottom. Not just of 21st-century Ashes contests, but of every Test series, ever, including India 1-0 England with five draws in 1981-82.
WICKET! Australia 567 all out (Boland c Brook b Jacks 0)
Scott Boland goes first ball, caught at slip off a lovely off-break from Will Jacks. Beau Webster finishes on 71 not out, one short of his Test best. On the plus side, the red ink lifts his average to 41.09.
Australia lead by 183 runs, and the smart money is on the series ending before lunch today.
Drinks
133rd over: Australia 564-9 (Webster 68, Boland 0) Josh Tongue now has 15 wickets at 21.33 in the series. He’s got something about him and will surely be inked in as England’s first-chance seamer for the forseeable future.
WICKET! Australia 564-9 (Starc b Tongue 5)
England say that Ben Stokes is being assessed for a ‘right adductor complaint’. Harry Brook is captaining the team in his absence, hoping somebody can hoover up the last two wickets quicksmart.
Josh Tongue is usually the man for the job. He seams a full-length delivery through the gate to bowl Mitchell Starc, who looks quizzically at the pitch before walking off. Beautifully bowled.
132nd over: Australia 560-8 (Webster 67, Starc 2) We’ve spoken about most of England’s selection decisions, from the spinners to the openers to Jamie Smith. It’s also really important they find a specialist new-ball bowler. Ideally it would be Ollie Robinson, who remains England’s best Test bowler for my coin, but that looks unlikely. I think Sam Cook deserves a proper chance
A weary delivery from Carse to Webster flies away for four leg-byes. Australia lead by 176 runs.
131st over: Australia 553-8 (Webster 65, Starc 1) If Webster does get a regular place in the side, there’s a chance Cam Green will be moved up to replace Usman Khawaja at No5. The only other selection decision is around Jake Weatherald. You fear for him a bit, especially with a trip to South Africa coming up.
In other news, the question of the day comes from Alex Netherton.
With England washed-up, knackered, and almost totally hopeless – a last dead cat bounce now about to ker-splat into the dusty ground – why do you think the Guardian thought you were suited for this shift in particular?
130th over: Australia 550-8 (Webster 64, Starc 0) Webster pulls Carse smoothly and serenely for four. Really good player, this guy, and he surely deserves a run in the team for the next year or so.
“We’re told a Bazball article of faith is ‘moving the game along’,” says Darryl Accone. “It’s clear from this Test alone, however, that applying such a credo indiscriminately has the effect of advancing the game to the opposition’s advantage, as shown by the sporadic headlessness of Brook, Jamie Smith and the England pace battery, among others.
“In contrast, Australia know both that time is longer than rope and that Test cricket is ‘per ardua ad astra’ (through adversity to the stars). Quaint ancient practices like taking time to play yourself in and batting time are what have helped bash Bazball in the end.”
I’m loath to judge the merit of England’s approach based on this series, for one main reason: England have been crap. They played orthodox Test cricket four years ago and were plugged 4-0, because they were crap then too.
Ach, I don’t know. I’m sleep-deprived and grumpy. I still think a better version of this approach can cause problems for any team, as we saw for much of the 2023 series.
129th over: Australia 544-8 (Webster 59, Starc 0) Smith gets a standing ovation after making his 13th Ashes hundred. Like Joe Root’s century earlier in the game, it was a low-key masterclass from an all-time great.
WICKET! Australia 544-8 (Smith c Smith b Tongue 138)
Josh Tongue gets Steve Smith for the sixth time out of six. I don’t suppose you can call Smith a bunny when he has just made 138, but it’s still a nice moment for Tongue. It was a terrific delivery that straightened off the seam, squared Smith up and shaved the outside edge. The other Smith, Jamie, did the rest.
128th over: Australia 542-7 (Smith 136, Webster 58) England hit Australia with a five-man pace attack on the first day at Perth. Brydon Carse is the last man standing and continues to charge in with intent, if not always accuracy. A poor ball is tickled for four by Webster to bring up the hundred partnership. England are face down in the dirt and there’s nothing they can do about it.
Stokes leaves field with groin injury
127th over: Australia 535-7 (Smith 136, Webster 52) Webster works Stokes for a single to reach a breezy half-century from 64 balls. He looks a really good player, has from the moment he turned the India series Australia’s way on debut a year ago.
Oh, tremendous news for England. Ben Stokes has injured in the groin and won’t be able to complete his over. I don’t suppose it matters in the grand scheme – they don’t play another Test until the summer – but it’s a symbolic blow at the end of a miserable series for England. Jacob Bethell bowls the last two balls of the over.
126th over: Australia 531-7 (Smith 135, Webster 49) Apologies, we’re having some technical issues at the start of play. Smith and Webster have already hit a boundary apiece off Stokes and Carse respectievly.
125th over: Australia 524-7 (Smith 135, Webster 42)
It’s another early start today, with a two-and-a-half-hour morning session to make up some of the time lost on the first day. The players are getting ready to take the field.
They do things well in Australia. On the first day of this fifth Test came a fitting tribute to the victims and first responders of the Bondi atrocity, and on the third day the Sydney Cricket Ground was turned into a sea of pink to once again raise funds for the McGrath Foundation.
Out in the middle, however, Australian charity was in far shorter supply. Across three sessions their batters ground England’s bowlers into the dust, answering any questions about their motivation since securing the Ashes and throwing up a few more about their beaten opponents.
Faces flush from the ordeal, Ben Stokes and his team trudged off at stumps seeing pink elephants. Steve Smith’s 37th Test century, 129 not out from 205 balls, had followed the second half of Travis Head’s sizzling 163 from 166, and with it Australia had reached 518 for seven from 124 overs. The lead sat at 134 runs overnight and looked an ominous one.
The legendary Neil Harvey, 97, talks to Tanya Aldred in a charming interview.
I’ve been disappointed in England. I think the way they approach the batting side of things, they get too reckless, nobody seems to want to build an innings, like a Cowdrey or a Boycott.
It might work against ordinary teams but when you get a class side like Australia it’s a different ballgame. I used to score runs relatively quickly, and everyone gets a lot of enjoyment out of it, but when you try to play this Bazball thing it takes the odds away from winning an important Test. I’d like to see them pull their hooves in.
Barney Ronay
Forty-five minutes into a quietly overcast morning at the Sydney Cricket Ground, Matt Potts came into the England attack from the Randwick End, and immediately began running through his variations.
His first ball was wide and smashed through cover by Travis Head. His second ball was both short and wide and hacked over gully by Travis Head. His third ball was short and straight and smashed past midwicket by Travis Head. His fourth ball was defended with a show of furrowed caution, to loud, mocking cheers from a crowd that had begun to tuck into the day. Welcome to the treadmill, Pottsy. And yes, it’s always like this around here.
Geoff Lemon
There was a time, while Steve Smith was at the height of his batting prowess, when “best since Bradman” was used with confidence. The thing about that line is that even when the recipient has dominated for years, it gets applied too quickly, given the point of comparison is a career-lasting two decades. Lots of players reach the top for a time, no other has stayed as long. Smith was untouchable for six years before returning to the realm of the merely very good.
The combination of those phases, though, took him to a rare position on the third day of the fifth Test in Sydney. In the statistics of the game there are milestones, then there are mountaintops. For a long time in Smith’s Ashes-heavy career there have been two peaks drawing gradually closer in the mist. Donald Bradman’s 5,028 runs against England is one that even Smith will never climb. Jack Hobbs’s 3,636 runs against Australia is the one he ascended on Tuesday.
Preamble
Rob Smyth
The 2025-26 Ashes, possibly the most anticlimactic series in the 144 years since Fred Spofforth raised hell at The Oval, is limping towards a fitting conclusion. Australia are on course to crush England at Sydney and win the series 4-1, a scoreline not even the most one-eyed Pom could dispute.
It’s been a triumph of experience, maturity, discipline, skill and Travis Head. His audacious 123 at Perth opened English wounds that have yet to heal; four Tests later he is cheerily grinding salt into them. Head’s deceptively pitiless 163 helped Australia to 518 for 7 at the end of day three, a lead of 134. Steve Smith will resume on 129 after making a century that looked inevitable even before he faced his first ball. England’s unbalanced, second-string attack gave everything they had on a punishing day. For a variety of reasons, it wasn’t enough.
Australia, despite a number of faultlines in their team, have won the series with an ease that is hard to comprehend. Maybe that’s an Anglocentric view. It’s not Australia’s fault that England failed to turn up – even if, on some level, they probably craved a greater challenge.
The last rites will be administered either this evening or tomorrow. There’s a chance of a complete blowout when England bat, just as there was in the final innings of 2013-14 (when England lasted 31.4 overs) and 2021-22 (38.5 overs). Their bodies are tired, their confidence shot, their spirit broken. It’s nearly time for everyone to go home.