Every so often the mainstream media takes notice of professional cycling, though only when something really ironic happens, such as a kangaroo running out onto the course during a race in Australia:
No word on whether the giant Antipodean rabbits were wearing helmets, though one of them did have to be put down (under):
Several other riders — including Menno Huising, Lucas Stevenson, Mikkel Bjerg, Juan Molano and Alberto Dainese — were forced to quit the race, and one of the kangaroos was injured, AP reported.
7News reported that none of the injuries were serious, but the kangaroo had to be euthanized because of its injuries.
Wait. None of the injuries were serious, but the kangaroo had to be euthanized because of its injuries? That sounds pretty serious to me. They should have said none of the human injuries were serious…unless of course kangaroo merely incurred a small scrape but they were all out of kangaroo-sized Band-Aids so they put it to sleep anyway.
Whatever happened, this in the most cartoonishly stereotypical bicycle racing disaster in quite some time, and would be akin to a mime running into the Tour de France peloton and hitting a rider in the head with a baguette.
OK, AI, that’s your cue:
What, was the “hitting a rider in the head” part too violent? Stupid woke AI. OK, how about “a mime running into the Tour de France peloton whilst wielding a baguette,” how does that work?
Too well, apparently:
Mon dieu.
It’s gonna be at least a few days before I’m able to sleep again.
Speaking of safety, did you know airbags are poised to be the new helmet?
That’s right, cycling fans (all six or seven) could see them in the peloton by 2027:
After watching too many of cycling’s biggest names left maimed and injured, a small circle of engineers, safety specialists, and tech weenies at Aerobag is developing a working model of a race-specific airbag system that could be peloton-ready by 2027.
The idea is simple: Place a CO₂ cartridge with a built-in airbag onto a rider’s back, and program it so that it inflates in a fraction of a second into a four-inch air cushion to blunt the impact of a high-speed crash.
Though I was surprised to learn the company designing them is called “Aerobag,” because I thought that was a slur against triathletes:
LOL, what an Aerobag.
Of course, cycling airbags are nothing new. Remember Hövding?
That’s not a very convincing video. I mean bro didn’t even hit his head!
Maybe that’s why they went bankrupt:
Though it looks like they’re back under new ownership:
AH-HA!!! The company that owns them is iSi Automotive?!? Clearly this is yet another example of the Automotive Industrial Complex trying to turn us all into cars. First they make you paint yourself and wear airbags, next you won’t even be able to buy a Brooks saddle unless it’s equipped with a Pelvis Restraint Cushion:
Though it’s good to know iSi Automotive is the industry leader in scranial inflation devices.
Meanwhile, in more tech news, in my ongoing quest to understand the Spirit of Gravel I watched some of this Trek propaganda video about the CheckOUT:
And was absolutely transfixed by this Gravelista-On-A-Hook, who appeared at about the 2:22 mark:
First they made a really bumpy treadmill:
Then they lowered a gravelista onto it like he was a fireman rescuing a kid from a well:
Then they took readings from his Top Tube-Mounted Seismograph:
Now the bike’s ready for your local trail!
Here’s what that $650,000 buys you in Marin:
Sounds exciting!
Caballo Rojo is a roughly one-mile-long blue descent, dropping over 300 vertical feet. It is purpose-built for mountain bikes, allows only mountain bikes, and is for descending only. Huffman shared that it has typical flow trail features such as berms, grade reversals, and rollers. Tamarancho Camp has another dedicated descending flow trail, Endor, on the opposite side of the loop. Caballo Rojo provides another DH trail, and a longer one at that.
Though that price they could have at least installed a bathroom. Still, I guess $650,000 and 10 years to build a single mile of bike trail sounds about right for California. Maybe they can link it to their high-speed rail system.