Brian Goorjian tore shreds off his Boomers side in their World Cup loss to Germany, but at least he didn’t grab an axe. ROBERT CRADDOCK ranks Australian sports all time sprays.
Paint started peeling off walls, eyebrows narrowed and, for a few startling seconds, the sports world was frog marched back to a more rough and ready era.
The Magic Spray was back, perhaps for one night only, but it was quite the show.
Watching emotional Boomers coach Brian Goorjian unleash his inner Rottweiller with a withering spray at the Australian Boomers basketball team was to revisit colourful eras when this tactic was the norm and not the godforsaken f—ing exception (for crying out loud).
“Swallow the f—ing ball. Come on now. Boys, we got to pick this up. It’s embarrassing.” Goorjian said.
“I don’t know what is going on, man. “F**k, we’re playing for our lives. Two dead bodies.”
And these were the kind bits.
Unfortunately the super spray did not save the game – Australia lost to Germany 85-82 in the World Cup game – but the spicy smelling salts did wake Australia from an early slumber.
“I just thought we had two or three guys on the floor asleep.,” Goorjian said afterwards.
“I just needed that time out to use my voice. That’s really the only time I go off. It’s very rare.’’
It terms of volcanic sledges this one might not rate in the same league as Tommy Raudonikis smashing the windows of the Wests change room with an axe or Rodney Eade’s famous outbursts at the Sydney Swans.
Or even “Angry Eddie’’ Jones headphone-slamming performances during the five successive losses the Wallabies have suffered in his tenure this year.
One coach who would have no problems with it would have been soccer superstar Dwight Yorke who, in his farewell address, described the Macarthur A-League side he coached as a “pub team” and became so animated that club officials had to to calm him down.
Somewhere in retirement, AFL coach Malcolm Blight might reckon the basketball serve had wet lettuce impact compared to the day in 1997 he called Crows David Pittman “the most pathetic ruckman I’ve seen in my entire life in footy.”
But Goorjian’s outburst did raise the question of whether the old fashion super spray – captivating television I must say – is still worth the occasional try.
Some sports such as cricket don’t believe so. One of the reasons why Andrew McDonald replaced Justin Langer as Australian cricket coach is that his lid doesn’t bubble on the top of the saucepan in the way Langer’s did on occasions.
Some seasoned mentors feel the spray works if used selectively – and at the right time.
Experienced sports psychologist Phil Jauncey told this masthead one of the things master coaches Wayne Bennett and Leigh Matthews gave him most thanks for was reminding them to never spray their players while feeling highly emotional.
Both Matthews and Bennett were raised in eras when sprays were commonplace then had to adjust to more sensitive times.
“It’s a difficult world,’’ Jauncey said.
“These players come through and they might get a ribbon for finishing a race in primary school even if they ran last and criticism has not been promoted in their world.’’
Bennett may have pointed his old club the Broncos to glory by ringing his long time protégé and Broncos coach Kevin Walters after watching him give a high voltage, jersey waving dressing room slapdown to his players two years ago.
“Be careful … that’s not you … just be yourself,’’ was Bennett’s warning.
Some of Bennett’s most successful threats to his players were more clever than caustic.
Like the time in Canberra when his Broncos team were trailing at halftime and he said “I thought you were all planning a night out after this game … well it won’t be happening if you lose.’’
They rallied and won, proving some of the best sledges of all are the ones which threaten not a man’s very dignity but his desperate craving for a quiet beer.