James Middleton, the younger brother of Princess Kate, is set to reveal his personal battle with mental health in his new memoir, Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life.
Scheduled for release on September 24, the book provides a poignant look into Middleton’s struggles, including his experiences with suicidal thoughts.
In a recently published excerpt by the Daily Mail, the 37-year-old Middleton opens up about a period of profound despair. He describes feeling overwhelmed and suicidal.
“Life is no longer worth living. I feel suicidal. I contemplate ways of dying so I can get off the giddy roller-coaster that is sending me to the brink of madness,” James Middleton detailed.
“I feel misunderstood; a complete failure. I wouldn’t wish the sense of worthlessness and desperation, the isolation and loneliness, on my worst enemy. I think I’m going crazy.”
Despite the support from his “loving and close-knit” family, including his parents Carole and Michael Middleton, sisters Kate and Pippa, and brothers-in-law Prince William and James Matthews – James admits to isolating himself.
“I do not answer their phone calls. Emails remain ignored. Invitations to visit go unheeded. I hide behind a double-locked door, unreachable,” he confesses.
James’ darkest moment came on a London rooftop
James recounts a particularly dark moment in November 2017 when he considered taking his own life. He reflects on his thoughts of jumping from a rooftop in London, wondering how his death would affect his family.
“What would happen to Ella if I died? How long would she wait alone in the flat for someone to find her?” he wondered.
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The critical turning point for James came through his bond with his dog, Ella. He credits her with saving his life.
“Ella has been my companion, my hope, my support through my darkest days. She has loved me unconditionally, faithfully.” The thought of Ella’s life without him made him reconsider his drastic plans.
Ella passed away in January 2023, a loss that James shared with great sadness on Instagram.
“It is with great sadness that I announce my dear Ella has passed away. For 15 years Ella has been at my side, from my darkest days to my happiest. I’m going to miss her terribly.”
James Middleton now lives with his wife, Alizee Thevenet, and their six other dogs. The couple welcomed their first child, son Indigo, in October 2023. Middleton’s memoir is anticipated to offer a deeply personal perspective on his mental health journey and the crucial role Ella played in his life.