Yesterday I mentioned Bromptons, and the biggest news in bikes right now is of course the launch of the new Brompton gravel bike:
Oh, wait, sorry, it’s not a gravel bike:
See, the letter “G” means different things to different people. For example, in Germany, it means “gëlande:”
So, basically, gravel.
Also, all the press photos seem to feature the bike ridden on gëlande consisting of very small rocks…
…or, you know, gravel:
Seems to me that if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck and it has wide tanwall tires like a duck…well, then maybe it’s a gravel duck:
Supple, wide webbed feet are ideal for gravel, as opposed to the narrow and hard ones you’ll generally find on road fowl:
[Pigeons also lack rack mounts and clearance for fenders.]
None of this is to impugn the bike itself, which seems like a fantastic idea. No, it’s merely amusing to watch as the term “gravel” becomes so pervasive that people are now embarrassed to use it–and yet they have to at least allude to it, because everybody responds to it. It’s an elaborate marketing dance in which companies must attempt to appeal to the normal consumer without simultaneously offending the cognoscenti. Even during the heady days of Peak Fixie we never saw anything quite like this:
[The Bianchi Pista F-Gear. But don’t call it a fixed-gear! The “F” is for freewheel, though the one it comes with simply lacks the necessary mechanism to allow coasting. Also, “Pista” doesn’t necessarily mean track. For example, it some English-speaking nations it’s simply the past tense of the informal term for urinate.]
But yes, as I say, what’s not to like about a more versatile Brompton? Though I admit I am deeply concerned about this app:
I’m willing to bet that e-Bromptons will incorporate an auto-fold feature in the next 10 years.
Meanwhile, Lachlan Morton, who is to “alt” cycling what Jack White is to “indie” rock, is currently riding around Australia, and he says it’s “a lot of pedalling:”
No kidding. He also says it’s “not a holiday:”
Really, though?
I mean, it kinda is. Lachlan Morton is ostensibly on a corporate pro cycling team, and presumably gets a paycheck, but instead of having to fetch water bottles or ride team time trials in the Tour de France or whatever he gets to do gravel races and other feats of endurance he concocts himself instead. Anyone who’s ever had a job will recognize this tactic immediately: by undertaking involved, time-consuming, and yet ultimately unnecessary projects you not only avoid scrutiny for long periods of time but you also get to avoid your co-workers in the process. I used to do the same thing as a teenager when I worked in a hardware store and used to volunteer myself to “reorganize the basement” for weeks at a time. Punch in, hide from the customers for eight hours, and then punch out and go home. As for Morton, while his teammates are doing boring training rides and being forced to inhale carbon monoxide or whatever, he’s getting plenty of sleep, riding all day through the Australian countryside, then drinking beer with his support crew:
Yes, the article is full of blatant information like this. It also claims the reason he’s riding anti-clockwise is to “take advantage of prevailing tailwinds…”
…when we all know the reason he’s doing it is that he’s in Australia, where you have to ride backwards, just like the toilets flush:
If he wanted to do it clockwise he’d have to fit that crazy apparatus to his bike which would result in a significant weight penalty.
Finally, you’ll be pleased to know I’ve found the “collabo” bike of your dreams:
RARE SNAPPLE CBS Amazing Race TV Show Collectible Limited Special Promo Full Suspension Mountain Bike
1 OF ONLY 500 MADE!
Back in 2011 there was a co-marketing contest with Snapple and “The Amazing Race” CBS TV show
CONDITION:
All original and in good used condition, but minor rust and a small crack on wheel cover.
Bottles NOT Included:)
FEATURES:
· Color: Yellow
· Wheels: 26″ (Custom Snapple Rear Cover)
· Frame: 19″
· Gears: 21 Speed – SunRun
· Suspension: Full – KeZehn
· V-Brakes: Yinxing,
· Includes a kickstand
· NEW MSRP was $4,000
You can’t afford not to buy it.