Jennifer Lopez confidently declared she no longer needs a man as she prepares to divorce Ben Affleck, although she did conceded that the initial feelings of a break up left her feeling “lonely” and “desperate”.
The On The Floor singer filed for divorce on August 20, the second anniversary of her wedding to the 52-year-old actor in Georgia, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their separation which she said took place on April 26.
It was also revealed that the pair spent neither of their birthdays together, nor their anniversary, as Affleck moved out of their shared home and effectively abandoned his 55-year-old wife by relocating to Brentwood, then Pacific Palisades.
Yet whilst she accepted it took a toll on her, as has previous relationships, she said that she’s capable of bouncing back and that she now realizes she is no longer defined by her partnerships and can be happy on her own.
“It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate,” Lopez said of break-ups to Interview.com. “But when you sit in those feelings and go, ‘These things are not going to kill me,’ it’s like actually, I am capable of joy and happiness all by myself.
“Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself.
“I used to say I’m a happy person, but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it’s just like, ‘No, I’m actually good.’”
Lopez sets her standard of love, but with a twist
Now technically on the market, Lopez has redefined her perspective of love and says she is willing to handle someone who isn’t quite perfect for her provided that they make her feel secure and can allow her to heal.
But her revelation came with a twist as she also revealed there is “no bar” for her next partner to meet, because she isn’t looking to meet anyone at all for the first time in her life or at least since her mid-20s.
“That, to me, is a scary thing too, or a confusing thing, because it’s like, “Oh, you couldn’t love me if I have flaws. I have to be perfect to be loved.” That’s not true,” Lopez added. Somebody who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself.
“That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it is a secure thing. ‘You make me feel safe, and when I fall short of the glory, you understand me and you help me to grow to be better, because you have your boundaries and I have my boundaries.’
“And I go, ‘Here’s where you’re falling short for me and here’s where I’m falling short for you.’ And so, we get better at those things together.”
Leave a Reply