There was a time not too long ago when urban cyclists exhibited a high degree of resourcefulness and self-sufficiency. But in the social media age, they are increasingly just riding around the city and pointing out small annoyances which they then imperiously order their public servants to clean up:
@NYC_DOT @nyc311 your detour sign is blocking #bikenyc lane at 2nd Ave and 58th street Brooklyn. Too heavy for me to move! Urgent hazard. pic.twitter.com/ncn9rkbLOc
— Joanna Oltman Smith (@jooltman) December 5, 2024
Close every street in a 20 block radius! Send in a fleet of maintenance trucks! Call in the air cover! THERE’S A SIGN IN THE BIKE LANE!!!
Alas, I suppose this sort of thing is inevitable, for in the world of bike advocacy most of the important battles have already been won. Not only are there bike lanes everywhere, but now they’re going back and making them even wider:
This should provide ample room for those downed signs.
I’d worry that they’ll soon be taken over by motor scooters, but fortunately those riders prefer to stick to the sidewalks:
Moped driver on Bronx sidewalk slams into 3-year-old girl, fractures her skull https://t.co/uiASVjw0sf
— New York Daily News (@NYDailyNews) November 30, 2024
At this point I’ve concluded that the only sensible position to take on New York City street safety is to give up on it entirely. However, please don’t confuse my complete resignation with apathy. Indeed, it’s quite the opposite–it’s just that instead of relying on the actions of government I know that I must look entrely to the aforementioned resourcefulness and self-sufficiently, and do all that I can to bolster it. Bike lanes and all that stuff are nice in theory, but in New York the theoretical does not fare well when it comes up against the practical, and so in order to keep riding year after year and stay sane one must instead marshal one’s inner strength and cultivate a Bike Infrastructure of the Mind.
By the way, I asked the Artificial Intelligence bundled into this blogging platform to create an image for “Bike Infrastructure of the Mind,” and this is what I got:
The path with a curb jutting right into it was particularly accurate, because one can easily imagine this sort of thing being built in cities all across America:
But yes, I am increasingly convinced that when riding in the city we must look not to the government, but to the geese:
Have you ever looked up at a formation of flying geese?
I certainly have, and after I wipe the goose crap from my face I think about how they’ve been flying back and forth over this same spot for thousands upon thousands of years. In that time we’ve built all sorts of stuff under them: streets, stop signs, Target stores, Applebee’s restaurants… Do the geese care about any of it? Do they alter their course? Do they whine and complain and protest? No, they do not. Instead they continue to follow their ancient migratory patterns regardless of the whims and foibles of man, soaring above it all both literally and metaphorically, except for once in a blue moon when they decide to take down a passenger jet.
So like the geese must be we. (Wow, that’s a weird syntactical formation!) Yes, unlike them we travel terrestrially, and so we must humor the stop signs and the Applebee’s stores, at least occasionally. Yet we can certainly take inspiration from the mighty geese in spirit, and remember to look not to the DOT but to ourselves for strength when making our way across the urban landscape. “Consider the birds of the air,” it is written in the Gospel of Fred. “They do not gather in bike lanes, and yet the Great Lob On High still protects them. Are you not far more important than they? Which of you by tweeting indignantly can add one cubit of value to his stature?”
By the way, Rivendell really needs to start including measurements in cubits. It’s a lot easier than PBH, and you don’t even need a tape measure:
Of course, looking unto the geese does not preclude having to look out for car doors, though even the very best riders fall victim to them occasionally:
From the Remco Evenepoel crash place, Remco was unable to avoid an opening car door from the postal vehicle and the doctors said it can be broken shoulder and broken wrist.
Thank you my friend Glenn Verlaecke for the info and photo. pic.twitter.com/bwM7bciF5y
— Lukáš Ronald Lukács (@lucasaganronald) December 3, 2024
As a smug Rivendell rider it is recumbent upon me to point out what happened to the bike. I got a lot of crap when I wrote this:
Obviously carbon is a great material for a racing bike, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with riding one, but should the unexpected happen there’s a decent chance you’re not going to be able to use it anymore:
had a similar crash this summer, managed to get away with broken rib and a few scratches. Safety of cyclist is at alarming low rate. pic.twitter.com/YePMGMNNs2
— Nejc Kotnik (@NejcKotnik1) December 3, 2024
That column could more accurately have been titled, “There Are Plenty Of Reasons To Buy A Carbon Bike As Long As You Understand The Advantages And Disadvantages Of The Material, And You Don’t Mind Writing It Off If You Get Doored,” but the sadly there’s really no place in modern media for that kind of nuance.
I’m gonna go ride a bike now.