This idea connects to something I wrote about for GSN in 2021 (A Girl’s Perspective: Hard Work vs. Competitiveness) after my club soccer coach gave my team a homework assignment. The assignment was to watch Kara Lawson’s, Duke Women’s basketball coach, pre-training speech about the difference between hard work and competitiveness. Her message resonated with me because I realized that at that time I was working hard, but I wasn’t competing. Coach Lawson’s speech made me re-examine not just how much work I was doing, but why I was doing it.
At some point or another, every athlete has to decide what they want from their sport and how much or little they’re willing to commit to it. The athlete alone sets the tone for their development and growth. Yes, outside forces matter. Coaches, parents, clubs and trainers can make rules, have expectations and even standards of their own. But when it comes to athletes who have reached the top, it is about competitiveness and the standards they set for themselves.
My entire focus for a long time was on a “hard work” mentality. I was hitting the gym daily, training multiple times a day, watching film, studying my opponents, and watching Premier League and NWSL players perform. On paper, I checked all the boxes of what you would expect from a driven athlete, however, there was no real direction and enough personal standards behind my work. I believed that if I just worked hard enough, I’d be a top performing athlete. I was wrong. I was working hard, but I wasn’t getting the results I wanted and I was exhausted and not focused. I wasn’t distinguishing the difference between what I wanted to work on and what I actually needed to work on.
That thankfully changed after a simple but important conversation with one of my coaches. He said exactly what I had been feeling, I was tired. I came across as flat in trainings. I was going through the motions of doing what was required, but not performing at a high level. That forced me to reassess and examine what I wanted from my sport. I started writing down my goals, both short-term and long-term goals, something I had stopped doing because I was so caught up in “just doing the work.” It felt like the work didn’t have any actual purpose without goals.
I cut back on the number of training sessions I was doing and built a specific weekly schedule. It was no longer a fixed schedule. It changed based on what I had already achieved and what still needed attention. The focus wasn’t just on completing tasks, but on mastering them and then building on that mastery. I added rest days. I created time and space to work on my mindset. I put myself in uncomfortable environments where I had to compete, where I had to test how much I really wanted this. That’s when things started to change. I wasn’t just following rules anymore. I was setting standards. Those standards were tied to who I am, who I want to become, and how I want to get there. I stopped worrying about impressing others. It became about challenging myself and holding myself accountable. Now, I’m excited about my growth again. I’m seeing results because I’m creating them and then building on them. I’m competing, something no one could ever force me to do. That’s the difference. It always comes back to the athlete and the standards they choose to live by.
In the end, the difference was never about how much I was doing. It was about why I was doing it. I stopped training to simply check boxes or meet expectations set by others. I started training with standards that reflected who I am and who I want to become. Rules can keep you busy but standards give work a purpose. No one can force competitiveness, accountability, or ownership. Those choices belong to the athlete. That’s where growth begins, and why excellence comes back to the standards you choose to live by and set for yourself.
I encourage athletes to take pause and ask themselves what they truly want out of their sport and what they are willing to commit to long term. Regular self-evaluation isn’t a setback it’s an essential part of the process and athlete’s growth. It’s a reset to help make sure your work is aligned with your goals, not just habits.