Playing the beautiful game of soccer since childhood comes with many memories and wisdom that’s developed over time. From muddy rec fields, games played in the rain, and early-morning tournaments to collegiate locker rooms and pressure-filled matches, I’ve seen confidence show up (and take a hit) in a lot of ways. And here’s the truth I wish I understood sooner: the most confident girls on the field are rarely the loudest ones.
They aren’t always the ones complaining about calls, yelling the loudest, posting highlight reels daily, or demanding the ball every second they’re on the field. Instead, they play with a quiet belief that reflects an inner steadiness. This steadiness doesn’t need constant validation. That kind of confidence is built, not performed. It’s built through doubt, hard times, and most of all, persistence.
Confidence Is a Relationship You Build With Yourself
Quiet confidence starts internally. It’s not about hype or ego. It’s about trust. The best players trust themselves: their preparation, their decision-making, and their ability to respond when things don’t go perfectly. They trust themselves not to give up.
That trust comes from repetition. Showing up to training when no one is watching. Doing the boring drills that make the biggest difference on the field. Strengthening your weak foot. Watching film. Recovery days that are actually restful. Every small promise you keep to yourself adds a brick to your foundation. Each decision you make moves the needle closer or further from confidence.
When you trust the work you put in to developing your skills, you don’t need to announce your confidence. It shows in how you move, how you scan the field, how you lead by action, and how you respond after a mistake.
Mistakes Don’t Shake Quiet Confidence
One of the biggest differences between loud confidence and quiet confidence is how a player handles mistakes. Loud confidence often crumbles when something goes wrong. Quiet confidence learns, adapts, and moves forward.
The best girls soccer players miss passes, lose 50/50s, miss goals, and get beaten defensively just like everyone else. But they don’t spiral. They reset quickly. They understand that mistakes are information, not a reflection of who they are.
They replace the thought, “I’m not good enough,” with focusing on the next play, the next moment, the next goal. That mindset keeps them in the present and reliable, especially in the big plays or moments on the field.
Preparation Is the Real Flex
There’s nothing flashy about preparation, but it’s where quiet confidence is born. When you haven’t prepared, there will be a feeling of anxiety that follows you to each practice and game. When you’ve trained tired, practiced game-speed decisions, and conditioned your body and mind, you step onto the field already grounded. Ready and excited to play.
As a college player, I learned that confidence wasn’t something I could fake on game day. It was something I earned at every practice session. At every opportunity I had to learn where I could improve and put the time in to get better. When you know you’ve done the work, nerves don’t disappear, but they don’t control you either.
Prepared players don’t panic under pressure. They rise up.
Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words
Quiet confidence shows up in body language. Head up after a mistake. Eye contact with teammates. Calm movement off the ball. Purposeful communication instead of constant noise or complaining. A player with quiet confidence has the ability to say the right words at the right time.
Coaches notice this. Teammates trust this. You don’t have to be the loudest leader to be a leader. Some of the strongest leaders I played with led by example through resilience, consistency, composure, and accountability.
Confidence Grows Through Self-Awareness
Truly confident players know who they are. They understand their strengths and are honest about their areas for growth. They accept imperfections while striving to become better. They don’t compare themselves endlessly to others, because they’re focused on becoming better versions of themselves.
This self-awareness allows them to play their role fully. Not everyone needs to score goals. Some players dominate through vision, defensive positioning, game control, or work rate. Quiet confidence is knowing your value even when it doesn’t show up on the stat sheet. Human performance is not linear.
You Don’t Need to Prove Yourself Every Game
One of the most freeing lessons I learned was that I didn’t need to prove myself every time I stepped on the field. Confidence isn’t fragile. It doesn’t disappear after one bad half or one tough season.
The best players stay steady. They compete, they care deeply, but they don’t attach their entire worth to one performance. That emotional balance allows them to play on a game-to-game basis. Doing their best when they’re on the field, even if it means playing a supportive role or being extra encouraging during practice when their own game is off. The inner belief in oneself, positive decision-making, and resilience of an athlete aids in building confidence.
Building Your Own Quiet Belief
If you want to build quiet confidence, start here:
- Commit to consistent preparation.
- Talk to yourself the way you would a teammate.
- Focus on controllables: effort, attitude, response.
- Learn from mistakes without dwelling on them.
- Let your actions speak the loudest.
Confidence doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful. Personally, I was never the most talented person on the field. But my determination to never give up, leave everything I had out on the field, and develop my skills at any opportunity created in me a leader. Those qualities were things that helped me continue to build confidence. Sometimes the strongest portrayal of confidence is the kind no one hears…but everyone feels.
And when you build that kind of confidence, it stays with you long after the last game of your career.
Image via @alexmorganfoundation
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