{"id":246215,"date":"2026-06-01T13:03:42","date_gmt":"2026-06-01T13:03:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sports.runfyers.com\/index.php\/2026\/06\/01\/neck-and-neck-2\/"},"modified":"2026-06-01T13:03:42","modified_gmt":"2026-06-01T13:03:42","slug":"neck-and-neck-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sports.runfyers.com\/index.php\/2026\/06\/01\/neck-and-neck-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Neck And Neck"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Well, a 32-inch-wheeled bike won the Unbound XL<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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However, this doesn\u2019t mean anything, because Unbound XL\u2013and all \u201cultra-endurance\u201d or whatever-you-want-to-call-them races\u2013are stupid.<\/p>\n

Firstly, let\u2019s take a look at what the Unbound XL actually is:<\/p>\n

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That\u2019s a pretentious way of saying you are paying a publicly traded company $270 to ride a bicycle a dumb distance while receiving absolutely nothing in return. Riding all night and foraging for sustenance in rural gas stations is not a sport; it\u2019s cosplaying as a war refugee. This is a brilliant business model, though. In fact, I\u2019m proud to announce the most prestigious ultra-endurance gravel race of all, the Tan Tenovo Super Mega Oversized Triple XXXXL Ultra 12,000:<\/p>\n

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\"Cyclists
[Disclaimer: No AI was used for the curation of this blog post. Except for this image which is 100% AI-generated.]<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Here\u2019s how it works. You pay me\u2026oh, I dunno, let\u2019s call it $500. That\u2019s not even twice what you pay to ride Unbound XL, for a race almost 35 times as long! In return, I\u2019ll come up with a start time and place conveniently located close to my home so I have to do as little as possible. You\u2019ll then ride across the entire continental United States and back twice, and the winner gets half of whatever I net in entry fees, which even if only one idiot registers is a huge payout compared to the Unbound XL, which pays\u2026NOTHING.<\/p>\n

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[OK, I used AI again. No wonder the stock market is going through the roof!]<\/p>\n

As for this year\u2019s edition of the Unbound XL, as per the story I initially linked to, and am linking to again<\/a>, the winner was on a 32-inch wheeled bike. Here\u2019s what he had to say about it:<\/p>\n

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\u201cI think this bike is just amazing. The wheels rolled so smoothly over everything,\u201d Gemperle said.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Oh, really? LET\u2019S GO BACK TO THE HEADLINE OF THE FREAKING ARTICLE, SHALL WE?<\/p>\n

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If the bike rolled over everything then HOW COME YOU HAD TO WALK FOR THIRTEEN FREAKING MILES, huh?<\/p>\n

And sure, no bike is going to fare well over 350 miles on unpaved roads in severe thunderstorms\u2026which is exactly why these ultra-endurance \u201craces\u201d are so stupid. Really, they\u2019re not races at all, they don\u2019t qualify as sport, and even calling them cycling is a stretch since the bike is mostly incidental\u2013especially when it\u2019s just another thing you have to schlep as it was in this case. <\/p>\n

Consider an actual bike race\u2013or really any type of sporting event. Ultimately the winner may possess one particular attribute in abundance, and of course luck is always a factor, but overall the contest is one in which the participants cannot rely on one thing alone to secure victory. There\u2019s natural talent, but there\u2019s also preparation. There\u2019s brute strength, but there\u2019s also finesse. There\u2019s luck, but there\u2019s also skill. There\u2019s strategy, but there\u2019s also being able to improvise in the moment. There\u2019s following the rules, but also knowing how to work those rules to your advantage. And so forth. Therein lies the beauty.<\/p>\n

But when you take the duration of the event and stretch it so ridiculously far that all that stuff burns off and the outcome is basically determined by how stubborn the competitors are, it ceases to be a sport. Instead, it\u2019s just a stunt, or a cannoli eating contest on wheels:<\/p>\n

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