We’re barely into January, and already a leading contender for the 2026 Just Buy A Rivendell Already Award has emerged:
And it’s former professional cyclist and current Gigantic YouTube Fred Phil Gaimon:
I couldn’t be bothered to actually watch, because if I have a half hour to spare you can be sure I’m not going to waste it watching Bike YouTube. (Instead I’d watch other YouTube, like comedy routines and car repairs I’ll never, ever attempt.) However, I did read the article (kind of), and it started off with a lot of promise:
“I can get bikes from just about anyone,” proclaims Gaimon. “I had calls with a ton of major bike brands. And here’s the thing, as you know, all of the high-end bikes are super nice. They’re all beautiful, they’re all fast. They’re all super high-tech. But there’s a feeling I’ve had for years now that the major bike brands have, in a lot of ways, lost the plot.”
Go on, Phil, go on…
Unfortunately, after all that it turns out still riding the same type of bike, only cheaper:
He’s quick to add that he likes nice things and still turns out world-class numbers on the bike, and therefore “deserves a very high-end, a very capable bike.” But, he says, he’s “not interested in a bicycle as a status symbol.”
And that’s where State Bicycle Co. comes in.
And here it is:
Yawn. What a let-down. That would have been the perfect time for Phil Gaimon to announce he’ll be riding a Platypus from now on:
By the way, I’m pretty sure Tadej would win the Tour de France on one of those too.
In any case, Gaimon still clearly has a long way to go, but disillusionment with the bicycle industry is the first step on a long journey, and perhaps by the end of the year he’ll have finally reached enlightenment:
And yes, I asked the AI to generate “The 2026 Just Buy A Rivendell Already Award” and that’s what it came up with. So congratulations to…Auroyory Trierlate?
Sounds like the captain of a Russian shadow fleet vessel.
Speaking of Rivendell, the PRJCT GRVL bike is…not a Rivendell, not even close:
Though is a modern gravel bike really all that different from a Rivendell?
Think about it:
Yes, they take different mechanical approaches, and use different materials. And yes, one company adorns their bikes with dazzling hues and curlicues, while the other makes bikes that look like they’re just the shadow of a bike. Still, in each case the end result is a stable bicycle with wide gearing and ample tire clearance, and while we each may defend our own mechanical and material preferences with a religious zeal, either bike can connect you just as fully to the joy and beauty of riding…provided you don’t go on a killing spree because of the GODDAMN INTERNAL CABLE ROUTING and wind up spending the rest of your life in prison.
And yes, I’m still upset about it. (By the way, while internal cable routing may spare you from having to look at them, you do get to hear them inside your frame when you ride over bumps.)
Even so, having successfully gotten the bike together, I am already following through with my commitment to discover the true Spirit of Gravel. And what better way to do that than to travel to one of our great nation’s majestic and awe-inspiring national parks?
So that’s exactly what I did:
Betcha can’t tell me who’s buried in there.
Sadly, while I’ve been riding the bike for awhile now, I’ve been unable to ride it on proper gravel–or dirt, for that matter, which I think maybe counts as gravel…? (Sorry, I’m still figuring out this whole Spirit of Gravel thing.) And it’s not for want of proper trails, either. No, I’ve got plenty of those:
[See? Gravel! Not sure what category of gravel it is, though, I wasn’t carrying my micrometer.]
The problem is that just after Christmas it snowed. Then the day after it snowed, it was warm, and the snow started to melt. But then right after that it got really cold again, and so all the melting snow froze. This meant that pretty much every trail everywhere was covered in ice:
I realize that may look perfectly rideable, but trust me, it’s treacherous. I even nearly went down on the Jones:
And yes, only after typing that did I realize how bad “going down on the Jones” sounds.
Now it’s warm again, which means most of the snow has melted, but it also means the trails will be very, very muddy, and while the Salsa Stormchaser may be marketed as a bike for “adverse conditions,” I make a point of avoiding mud whenever possible, because riding in mud when you don’t have to is just stupid. (I used to do cyclocross and I’ve paid my mud dues, I can assure you.) So instead I’ve been riding crappy roads and narrow paths that, while not technically gravel, come fairly close:
I also even headed down to Central Park for the first time in a long while, where I marveled at the tourists, as well as the redesign of the loop, which consists of lots of markings about yielding to pedestrians that all the cyclists will ignore:
Of course, my secret hope is that while I’m out riding the PRJCT GRVL bike some passing gravelistas will compliment me on my “sweet build” and invite me to join their community. This has yet to happen. But I remain hopeful.