Without a major mens trophy in a staggering 60 years, England’s six decades of footballing misery has so often come down to one bitter rival: Germany.
Who could forget Paul Gascoigne’s tears after being bested in semi-final penalties at Italia 1990, or that 4-1 loss in 2010 after Frank Lampard’s opening goal that criminally wasn’t?
Watch the biggest Aussie sports & the best from overseas LIVE on Kayo Sports | New to Kayo? Join now and get your first month for just $1.
Wouldn’t it be ironic, then, if it took a German coach to break the sickening spell this tournament has held over the tortured nation?
With their star player plying his trade at Germany’s biggest club as well, it’d be a very unusual win for the Three Lions if they did triumph at the 2026 World Cup.
As per usual, there’s been a lot of noise and gnashing of teeth over the England squad. Be it players who were picked, or players who weren’t, if there’s one thing England fans have in common — apart from being vulnerable to sunburn — it’s arguing about the World Cup squad.
There’s been no shortage of that. Micah Richards said he “doesn’t agree with it”, while John Terry suggested 11 picks aren’t up to World Cup-winning standard.
“When I look at it, I’m looking at the team now, there’s probably 14, 15 starters… there’s only 13, 14 or 15 players that can play if we’re going to win this World Cup,” he said on Piers Morgan Uncensored.
Some of those snubbed haven’t exactly been quiet either.
Morgan Gibbs-White said he believed he should’ve been in the squad, and claimed his snub was because he “got on the wrong side” of coach Thomas Tuchel.
Most spectacular, however, was Harry Maguire’s mum coming out to say it was “absolutely disgusting” her son wasn’t pick.
Outrage bordering on comical is simply all part of the fun for England heading into a World Cup.
READ MORE
‘Can’t baby them’: Aussies given WC warning; great’s plea for overnight sensation
Hero Roos captain was just axed at World Cup… after an expletive-riddled chat with ex-NRL star
How Socceroos can WIN World Cup group this Saturday… with some help from our Turkish pals
‘RESTS UPON HIS SHOULDERS’
What is clear however, is that Tuchel might be the first England coach since Sir Bobby Robson to have a plan discernible by just looking at the squad.
His pre-tournament words speak to just how targeted his approach will be.
“I think from day one, we were very clear that we are trying to select and build the best possible team, which is not necessarily to select and collect the 26 most talented players,” he said.
England under, Tuchel have traditionally played in a 4-2-3-1. Talismanic captain Harry Kane is the focal point both on paper, and on the pitch, and it can easily be seen that the entire team has been set up to get the best out of the remarkable striker.
At all of his clubs, Kane has been at his best when he is able to connect with speedy wingers and attacking midfielders who run beyond him towards the box.
All of the attacking selections echo this line of thinking, and may offer an explanation as to why stars like Cole Palmer and Phil Foden — players who like the ball to feet more than their contemporaries in the squad — were picked ahead of them.
“This whole squad that Thomas Tuchel has picked – in the attacking part – is all (to focus) around him,” England legend Gary Neville said on ITV.
“There are form issues, but there’s no Foden, Palmer, (Morgan) Gibbs-White – he wants players who can run past him. Anthony Gordon, Marcus Rashford and Morgan Rogers are players who can sprint past him.
“This whole squad is about Kane. This whole tournament – a lot of it rests upon his shoulders.”
It’s a bold selection strategy, but it’s one that has won over Sky Sports tactical analyst Harrison T-O, who pointed out the chemistry in the midfield and attack for the Three Lions.
“Rashford, Bellingham, Saka, Kane with depth in runners behind with (Nico O’Reilly) and Rice too. Can anyone remember a game these all started together?” he said.
“Because the idea of it is brilliant to me, in theory.”
This team is full of players who are known for making late runs into the box, which suits how Kane will play, and therefore suit the best plan for the Three Lions to find success.
A NEW IDENTITY
Another key factor for England now is the ability to move the ball from defence into attack. For too long, England have been a team of star names who could never get the ball from defence to attack with quality and consistency.
This team, however, has been clearly designed with technical ability and ball progression from the back as an essential building block.
Premier League tactical analyst James Lawrence Alcott put it simply: “This England team has been built to break the lines quicker!”
Reece James, John Stones, Nico O’Reilly, Marc Guehi and Ezri Konsa are all excellent passers of the ball, and the speed of which they can find their more-advanced teammates will be the difference between success and failure at this World Cup.
However, this is an England team, and hoofing it is of course as much part of the culture as being a bad sport and eating bacon sandwiches.
That idea will go back to Jordan Pickford, who possesses what can be best described as a howitzer of a left foot. With speed on either flank, and in Kane, one of the best first touches of any striker in football, do not underestimate the damage a trademark Pickford missile could do in transition.
“Pickford will clearly be the starter, his direct passing is going to be key to launching those direct attacks which Tuchel will want to see when the time is right,” Alcott said.
In midfield, this is not a set of players to match Spain or Portugal for technical fluency — tiki taka is not the aim of the game here. When he took the job, Tuchel wanted to make sure that his side kept a strictly English identity. He said after an impressive win over Serbia last year, that his side had played “like a Premier League team”.
Declan Rice and Elliot Anderson are stereotypical Premier League midfielders to a tee. Physical duel winners and ball carriers, these aren’t the sort of midfielders you look to when you’re after beautiful technical play. But for this style of football, where transition is key over ball retention, they’re brilliant.
While Rice has had a special season, and is a Premier League champion, Anderson at 22-years-old has had an absurd campaign. The Nottingham Forest star is the subject of a $200 million bidding war between Manchester United and City, and has put up some truly epic numbers.
He wins 6.3 ground duels per 90 minutes, with eight ball recoveries, more than any of Pedri, Declan Rice, Vitinha and Aleksander Pavlovic, according to Squawka.
This is one of the premier midfielders in world football. And the box-to-box menace has credited England partner in crime Rice with a big hand in his meteoric rise.
“Declan Rice has helped me on and off the pitch,” he said.
“Just little things on the training pitch, bits of advice, putting his arm around me and just building on the relationship in midfield. I’m trying to learn from him”.
WHY THINGS CAN BE DIFFERENT
Hope is a dangerous drug for England fans. Be it the Ashes, the Rugby World Cup, every single form of football competition the England national team has entered in the last 60 years, English hype is as constant as English disappointment. However, most of those failures are usually born out of overlooking problematic underlying issues. Ben Duckett not knowing how to use Uber and Sam Burges accidentally turning up for the wrong sport sort of problems.
But this is a different England — a tactically astute Three Lions side with a discernible and, on-paper, effective plan.
In short, it’s an England side with good reason to hope beyond praying for *insert star name here* to score a wonder goal.
Tuchel, a serial trophy winner is quietly confident.
“There are proven winners in the tournament with more success in recent tournaments. So, these are the favourites, and we compete for the trophy,” he said.
“It’s just like if you … go to Wimbledon, you have never won it … (you’re) not the favourite. But you can win it, of course, and we want to win it, but we know what it takes, and it takes also a calm mindset and focus on our steps.”
England have done something they’ve never done before; they’ve listened to their detractors and put a plan in place. To those doubting Tuchel’s methods, remember a quote from legendary Three Lions striker Gary Lineker:
“Football is a simple game, 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.”
If you can’t beat them, join them.