The Tour de France is one of the most celebrated sporting events in the world–but this is still cycling, the Arby’s of sports, and so even in 2026 the riders spend the night in disgusting hotels:
Fortunately, teams have access to cutting-edge sleep technology such as “smart mattress cover systems:”
Some teams bring their own air conditioning units to the race for nights when they’re given more basic accommodation. New this year, Pogačar’s UAE Team Emirates-XRG have been sleeping in near £3,000 ‘smart mattress cover systems’, made by the brand Eight Sleep, which measure the riders’ body temperature and cool the bed accordingly. They came in handy on Monday, when the team found out their three-star hotel near Aurillac didn’t have air conditioning.
Yes, the Tour de France is indeed won in bed, as Joop Zoetemelk famously said (and yes, I had to look up who said that), and today that’s where teams appear to be seeking the largest performance gains:
If you think life got easier for the team staff now that they don’t have to glue tubular tires anymore, think again, because it takes at least as much time just to make a bed:
EF assistant Walid Karim’s job is to pack up riders’ rooms as soon as they leave to prepare for the race, drive to the finish, and assemble the mattress toppers. “There are three of us, and it takes us an hour to an hour and a half to disassemble everything,” he said, “then about the same amount of time to get everything ready.” They try to get to the hotels as fast as possible, because there’s fierce competition for limited parking at some hotels. Which teams are on it? “Lotto is good,” Karim said. “But if you ask me, we’re the best.”
EF let me see one of the mattress toppers. A pair of thick, insulated hoses connect the three-inch-thick pad to a cooling unit the size of two shoeboxes. The machine emits no noise. Each rider has theirs tuned to their particular specifications. The mattresses are connected to an app that allows a fine level of tuning and provides reams of data. Other than the hoses, the beds look totally normal. It’s the ideal environment in which to sleep.
Bike company marketing notwithstanding, it’s clear to most of us that bicycle performance hasn’t increased meaningfully in decades, and that we’ve pushed the machine as far as it can go. Eventually even the most naive consumer is going to figure this out too, which is why if I were running a bike company I’d immediately move into high-end bedding. This is clearly the future of the cycling industry, and if the people running companies like Trek and Specialized have any brains at all they’ll pivot from Fred Sleds to Fred Beds before it’s too late.
In fact, even Rivendell is looking to enter the sleep market, though their bed will be coin-operated, which is the bedding equivalent of friction shifting:
The woodgrain panel will also complement the earth tones of your Scottish cotton bedspread.
Seriously, cycling industry CEOs, beds are the only way to go from here. I mean come on, does anybody really think Pogačar keeps winning the Tour because he has the best bicycle?
And is anybody really surprised by how much it costs?
Tadej Pogačar’s race bike has become almost as famous as the Slovenian ace himself. The world champion’s Tour de France machine combines one of the fastest frames in the pro peloton with a carefully selected mix of stock components and specialist aftermarket upgrades.
Add everything together and the numbers become eye-watering: a grand total of £17,289.41, if you were to source the parts yourself.
And why is Bike Radar pretending to be surprised when Specialized are charging Fourteen Thousand American Fun Tickets™ for an off-the-rack Tramac now?
This is the most dangerous aspect of cycling. Sure, it doesn’t really matter what any of this stuff costs, and here’s why:
If you’re paying for your own parts, you suck.
See, the good riders don’t need to pay for these parts because they have sponsors, and everyone else doesn’t need to pay for these parts either, because they suck way too much to extract any benefit from them.
Nevertheless, while this stuff may be expensive, it’s still attainable, and that’s the dangerous part. Nobody watches F1 and considers buying one of the cars, but for as low as $486/mo with affirm (see if you qualify) you can have that Specialized. Then once you get used to the payments you’ll start upgrading parts, and hey, look at that, soon you’ve spent as much for your bike as Pogačar would have for his if he were dumb enough to pay for it.
But there’s a flipside to all of that, which is that thanks to the miracle of depreciation you can own the 2012 equivalent of that Specialized for just a tenth of the cost:
Please note I’m not endorsing the seller, or the bike, or anything like that, I’m just making the point that if you’re willing to wait a few years you can buy a pro-level race bike and still have plenty of money left over for that state-of-the-art Fred Bed.
Speaking of depreciation, here’s a look at the cost of cycling versus the cost of driving:
I was hoping it might actually be interesting, but it just tells you stuff like this:
Can cycling save money?
Yes. Replacing driving trips with cycling can reduce spending on fuel, parking, maintenance and vehicle depreciation. Some households save thousands of dollars each year, especially if cycling allows them to avoid owning a second car.
At a certain point, telling people cycling is cheaper than driving is like telling them tents are cheaper than apartments–technically true, but in no way helpful.