As I’ve said repeatedly, I didn’t start a bike blog in order to do “work.”
“So why did you start a bike blog?,” you may be wondering.
Well, it was all so I could meet the so-called “Fat Cyclist:”
Ah, the high-flying, free-wheeling* days of the aughties blogosphere. We were like gods back then. Fat Cyclist and I could walk into any bike shop** in America back then and get all the free inner tubes*** and derailleur cables**** we wanted.
*[Actually there wasn’t much free-wheeling, this was Peak Fixie]
**[A “bike shop” was a kind of a store where you could actually purchase a bicycle in person. Sort of like a Bottega di Pinarello, only with multiple brands at a variety of prices]
***[An “inner tube” was sort of a bladder made of butyl rubber that you put inside your tire in order to hold the air. It was was a primitive system that was clean, cheap, reliable, and easy to service, though fortunately it’s now been replaced by tight-fitting tires that are nearly impossible to mount by hand and filled with messy coagulants]
****[A “derailleur cable” was…oh, forget it, it’s just too depressing]
But those days are over. Fat Cyclist is now a food influencer:
And if anybody remembers me at all it’s only to say, “He hasn’t been funny since 2008,” which is ironic, because in 2008 everybody said I hadn’t been funny since 2007.
But now it’s 2025*****, and as lazy as I am, I’m so grateful to you, my dear readers, that in order to reward you for your readership I’m actually going to do something that, while it may not qualify as “work,” is certainly at least work-adjacent.
*****[Actually it’s 2026, but I’ve decided to stop counting, I can no longer come to terms with the passage of time]
Or, to put it another way, do you like lube?
Of course you do. And Dumonde Tech makes some the best bike lubricants in the world–and I’m not just saying this because they keep sending it to me, either, but it certainly helps. Anyway, you may recall that earlier this year I curated a Spirit of Gravel contest, and that Dumonde supplied the prizes:
Well, I’m gonna do it again. But it’s not about gravel this time. It’s about Meh-roica bikes:
[No AI-generated flyers this time. This one is all me!]
Here’s how it’s going to work:
- YOU are going to send me a photo or photos of your finest Meh-roica bike
- I am going to choose a winner
- The winner will get some Dumonde stuff
- Uh…that’s it
Wait, actually that’s not it. Your bike must meet the Meh-roica criteria, and any submission that doesn’t will be instantly rejected. That criteria is as follows:
- The bike must have been produced between 1990 and 2009 (an odd part from before or after that is OK, but it should substantially hail from that era)
- The bike must have integrated shifters
- The bike may have no more than 10 speeds
- The bike must have mechanical shifting and rim brakes (no Mektronic!)
- The bike may not have a compact crank (a triple crank is acceptable)
- The bike’s tires may not have a nominal width greater than 25mm
- The bike may have threaded or threadless headset
- Integrated headsets and bottom brackets will not result in an instant DQ, though preference will be given to non-integrated systems
- All frame materials and methods of construction are acceptable
- All wheel systems are acceptable; however, they should be true to the Meh-roica era, and tubless systems are not acceptable
- If I’m forgetting something let me know
Also, please don’t get indignant about any of this, or say stuff like “But bar-end shifters are more reliable than integrate ones!,” or “Wide tires are better than narrow ones!,” or “Low gearing is better than high gearing!” That’s not the point. The point is to celebrate this currently overlooked and under-appreciated era of road bicycles–the one lost between the classical Eroica bikes of yesteryear and the modern-day freak rockets. Sure, they weren’t always the most forgiving bicycles, but they were light and fast and reliable and they Got Stuff Done. Basically they’re the Gen X of bikes. Sure, the demanding Boomers and the whiny Millennials may get all the attention, but Gen X doesn’t need your coddling, and it quietly goes about holding society together amid all the simpering. Same with, say, an aluminum road bike with 9-speed Dura-Ace.
So here’s how to submit:
- Send a photo or photos of your bike via email with exactly this subject line: MEH-ROICA MEH-ROICA MEH-ROICA
- Tell me anything about the bike you think is relevant
- Please note that by sending me a submission you’re allowing me to post your photos on the Internet as well as to quote from your email
- If you want credit please tell me clearly how to credit you (name, any relevant “handle” you want me to link to, etc.), or if you prefer to be anonymous please state that clearly, too. If it’s unclear I’ll use my judgment.
- Please note you may or may not receive a response of any kind from me, ever
- The deadline for submissions is October 16th, 12:00pm EST (that’s noon, not midnight)
And yes, the no-compact thing is a little insane. For example, by my own criteria this bike would be an instant rejection, even though it’s pretty much the Meh-roica Platonic ideal:
But hey, what can I tell you? Remember what I said about coddling?
This one would be 100% elegible:
Can you believe I sent both of those back to Classic Cycle?
Sometimes my own profligacy astounds me.
Anyway, so there you have it. I look forward to your submissions. Thanks for reading, thanks for your support, and may your weekend be replete with overgeared, skinny-tired Meh-roicical adventures.
XOXO,
T. Tenovo
