Remember when cycling was the new golf?
Well now gravel cycling is the new cycling.
[Oh, well Reddit says it, so…]
Logically then, it would follow that gravel golf would be the new golf:
But golf is secure enough in itself to simply remain golf, whereas cycling is neurotic and insecure and needs to constantly reinvent itself in order to make new friends, because it doesn’t think its old friends are cool enough. Apparently running also suffers from this same personality disorder, and as a result gravel running is the new gravel cycling:
This is the best news I’ve heard in years, because hopefully this means all the gravelistas will finally just run away and never come back, and I for one welcome a day when “movement becomes instinctive” and the Pas Normal set moves “beyond the city limits” to “where the surface softens” once and for all:
Though all that sounds too good to be true, and I suspect we’re merely on the cusp of a weird dystopian future in which the city will be full of wan work-from-homers in weird non-specific “doing active stuff” clothes:
Whatever happens, gravel shoes and gravel bikes are indeed quite similar. For example, both harness the Jan Heinian power of planing:
Sitting somewhere between on-road running and full-on trail running, the collaboration focuses on the GRVL Concept shoe, which Salomon revealed at the beginning of May. This incorporates two full-length carbon plates and a PEBA-based supercritical foam midsole, designed to increase energy return and decrease strike energy.
The also use the same tread pattern, because a shoe is exactly like a tire:
That part of the design is borrowed from road running, but Salomon says the sole’s tread pattern is inspired by gravel bike tyres with shallow 1.5mm lugs, which the two brands say offer grip on gravel but also speed on tarmac – very gravel cycling.
And, most importantly, they’re both expensive:
There’s a built-in short gaiter to keep stones and debris out of the shoes, which use Salomon’s updated Quicklace Neo system rather than conventional laces. The shoes have a 262g per shoe claimed weight and are priced at a cycling shoe-like £230. They’re available in sizes from 37⅓ to 49⅓.
I look forward to the gravel shoe equivalent of the 32-inch wheel:
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the answer is yes, of course there’s such a thing as barefoot gravel running:
Why wouldn’t there be?
I guess that’s the equivalent of fixed-gear gravel cycling, and you can expect barefoot gravel running to really catch on once gravel shoes become even more complicated and expensive and the inevitable consumer backlash occurs. Hey, the bike industry is always recycling old gimmicks, so why should gravel footwear be any different? For example, a gravel shoe with an integrated pump that allows you to adjust it on the fly is a total no-brainer:
All it needs is wireless capability and an app to control it.
Oh wait, Nike tried that already:
I guess it never took off, but that was before gravel running, and we all know that gravel can sell absolutely anything.
Speaking of batteries, are you sad because even with electronic shifting and electronic suspension suspension and electronic dropper posts and electronic tire pressure monitoring systems there’s still not enough stuff on your bike to charge before the big ride? If so, then make sure you get yourself an electronic chain lubrication system:
It hides in your seat tube and you control it with a remote on your handlebar, assuming you can find room for it along with all the other remotes:
The system includes a lube chamber hidden discreetly in the seat tube, a handlebar-mounted remote, and a custom guide and dripper positioned above the chainring. The whole system weighs a claimed 100g.
Until now devices like this haven’t caught on with cyclists, possibly because everybody knows all the cool people are waxing their chains now:
This isn’t the first automatic on-bike chain lubricator that we’ve seen. Both the Rohloff Lubmatic and the Scottoiler Cycle S1 were variations of the concept that aimed to work similarly. Neither of those appeared to have much commercial success, however, probably due in part to the limited market for such a niche bike accessory. Still, the Faction x L’Esperance system appears to be the lightest, sleekest, and most refined version that we’ve seen thus far.
An on-board chain waxing system might meet with more success, provided someone can design a system that addresses the whole third-degree burn problem.