We each have our own idea of what dystopia looks like, and for some it’s a surveillance state where you can’t even park in a bike lane without getting a ticket:
Here’s what happened:
Bret Baier’s Fox News crew was slapped with a ticket after cameras in Beijing caught them parked illegally while filming a segment about China’s mass surveillance in the middle of a busy bike lane.
…
During the segment, the Fox News anchor noted “there are cameras literally everywhere in Beijing,” before admitting his crew had briefly parked illegally and was immediately issued a ticket.
Some people will look at this story and say that a world in which there are facial recognition cameras everywhere and your freedom of movement is subject to your social credit score is terrifying. Others will look at it and say, “Uh, you were filming a news segment in the middle of traffic, what did you expect?” But both sides are missing the point here, which is this:
Take a look at this so-called “bike lane:”
Where’s are the bikes?
I don’t see any bikes.
Now that’s scary. And it’s happening here, too. A “bike lane” hasn’t been a bike lane since at least the start of this decade. Yet the Smuggies told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears and keep calling them bike lanes, anyway.
It was their final, most essential command.
Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid. Or at least worried:
This is an interesting story, and like the bike lane thing there are two ways to feel about it. One is that we should embrace a future in which marketing and storytelling are obsolete and companies focus entirely on price, and the other is that we should fear a future in which marketing and storytelling is obsolete and companies focus entirely on price:
Telling a compelling story is the difference between a mass-market success and a niche product. If you hated the idea that undercutting price devalues a brand name, you are likely going to hate this concept even more. Regardless of how you feel, it’s true.
Chinese bike brands do not understand how to tell a story, nor do those brands seem to grasp how much that story matters for sales. Walk up to a booth at China Cycle and ask about a product, and you’ll never hear that it’s the fastest wheel you can buy. You also won’t hear how a frame is nearly the lightest on the market, but also soaks up bumps at a specific resonance frequency — or whatever engineered buzzword a marketing department has cooked up this year to help you ride faster for longer.
Will we be better off when everyone is forced to ditch the bullshit, or will selling bikes simply become a race to the bottom in which companies like ASSISTING FORCE keep selling cheaper and cheaper plastic bikes and there’s no room left for anyone else to make a living in the bike industry? Sure, 90% of this tedious blog is me making fun of bike marketing, but in a cycling world devoid of storytelling there’s also no room for the wistful lugged steel bicycles I cherish, now is there? (To say nothing of cycling blogs, though those have gone the way of the rim brake, anyway.)
But maybe there’s no reason to fear for the western companies, and maybe there will always be people ready to spend thousands and thousands of dollars for “the fastest gravel wheels ever built:”
Can you sue ENVE, the most obnoxiously-named company in cycling (I’d almost rather ride a bike called ASSISTING FORCE than a bike called ENVE), when you spend $3,100 for the “fastest gravel wheels ever built” and you still suck?
Also, does it even have Vibracore vibration-damping wheel tech?
These are even more expensive:
Strade GT wheels will cost £2,499 / US$3,299 / €3,199 for the steel bearing-equipped option and rise to £2,719 / US$3,589 / €3,489 if you want ceramic bearings.
Though they do “reduce vibration at a structural level:”
The recycled material is integrated into the spoke bed of the rims, which the brand claims helps reduce vibration at a structural level. This material helps deaden road vibration at the rim, creating a smoother ride and reducing what we tend to think of as ‘road buzz’, which should ultimately help keep us feeling fresher and less fatigued.
You know what’s a much less expensive way to replicate the effects of a 10-15 PSI drop in air pressure?
A 10-15 PSI drop in air pressure.
Finally, speaking of dropping, some questions just answer themselves:
This is like asking why lesbians don’t use condoms.